Juliet and William continue the exploration with a look at the way shame triggers and induces both our drives and our dysfunction. Behind the success of a thrusting executive or the downcast expression of a shrinking non-achiever, we can often find the same overwhelming shadow of shame.
In the second in this series, William Ayot and Juliet Grayson explore what shame activates: addiction, workaholism violence, perfectionism, or anti-social behaviour.
This talk covers:
Shame brings clients into therapy but many therapists don’t work with it.
Shame from our families of origin.
Intentional shaming.
Shame & education.
Family labels. Covert shaming. The shame of having needs that are not met.
Sources of shame: inherited shame, perpetrators and victims, corporal punishment, shaming events, shamed by our characteristics, religion, rank, internalised shame, comparisons, expectations, adoption, death.
Addiction to intensity
The false self
The hot potato of shame, the win-lose structure that creates shame.
Stuckness.
Suicide.
Naming goodness.
The consequences of shame.
Keeping the thread of connection.
Shame drives anger & addictions. The squirrel cage.
Further consequences of shame. Perfectionism. Inner critic. Depression. Eating disorders. Violence including domestic abuse. Social anxiety. Lack sense of self. Narcissism.
The compass of shame.
Pre-verbal shame.
Shame buckets.
Denial of shame
Be kind to yourself.
